There is a scene in Hellraiser, where the main bad guy (sorry can't remember names) is standing there without his skin. He is only muscle. This scene scared the fuck out of me when I first saw it. I had nightmares for weeks. Humans are just not supposed to look like that. They recently did a show here in Charlotte where the cardvers looked like that man. I couldn't bear it. I hated even seeing the posters.
Today I feel like those bodies. Last night, I wrote my Morrissey post, and didn't really think much of it. Then I laid awake thinking about how incredibly exposed I made myself to the public. And then I woke up at 3, and almost came out to erase it. I still might. H begged me to keep it up. He didn't think I exposed too much.
Of everything I've written in the last couple of years on this blog, that post makes me feel too exposed to you. Like now you could all hurt me if you wanted to. I don't like that feeling. I don't like that I put much so much forth in public.
3 comments:
exposure is awesome! so glad you didn't erase. (but know that feeling)
Two quotes from the old days:
Even the president of the united states must sometimes have to stand naked ...
No one can harm you, feel your own pain ...
*
Ginger, even if we could hurt you, why would we?
I know...I had a very strange morning...very sad and dark. But I think it was coming from D. H. Lawrence. I had to put the book away. And I feel much better now..stronger.
And I know YOU wouldn't hurt me...
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