Under Kitchen Tables

Crouched under the table, I am surrounded by the jean clad legs of my aunts and my mother. At the head of the table are my grandmother's legs. I stay close to hers because if I need to I can always lean against them. She will ruffle my hair and maybe even slip me the last drop of her coffee, sweet with cream. They are talking about people at our church. They say things like "I hate to gossip." And then they tell stories about flirtations, betrayals, scandals. I know many secrets, and sometimes I look at people on Sunday and think about what I know.

Mostly as I sit there, playing sometimes with Barbies or more likely with some paper and crayons, I imagine the day when I will join the ranks of these women. I like to think about me sitting there with my own cup of coffee. I will wear make up like my youngest aunt. And I will wear bright jewelry like my mom. I will toss my head like my middle aunt, and be bold as she is with my words and opinions. I want to sit with my grandmother like an adult and share confidences.

Today my grandmother pulls me to her lap, and I snuggle into her even though I am too old for such things. She smells like Oil of Olay and Mary Kay make up. She kisses me loudly and says "You are never old to be my baby." And the aunts laugh. But I think it's true, and am unsure if this is something to mourn.

Almost 40

Another birthday blog. They keep adding up. I'd like to say this birthday snuck up on me as I sat innocently at the computer but when you have beasties, you never forget your birthday is coming. It started a week ago with "Mama your birthday is when?" and went on like that for seven days. And as soon I stumbled my sleep deprived myself into the living room, H had made a beautiful card that sat waiting for me....in front of the computer. So no sneaking here. Just a big slap to the face. 39. Wow. People I'm almost 40! But that's okay because I've decided I'm going to live to 100. So I have another sixty one years left.

What has stayed the same? I'm still married to H. Almost 12 years now. Still insane about him. The beasties are still wrecking the most beautiful kind of chaos onto my life.

And that sameness has taken on even more import this year when so much has changed. From not getting accepted into a Ph.D program to moving to another state, my life is a bit upside down at the moment. We moved to Athens a few weeks ago so that H could begin his Ph.D program. Right now I am not working (well I mean I'm working my ass off...four children people!). I love Athens but I am scared of my future. I wish that there was some kind of neon sign flashing a big arrow towards my life career but alas that has not happened.Instead I spend a great deal of time worrying about what I should do. Should I become a nurse and then a midwife ensuring myself a job? I think I would like it but I know already that I would not love it as I do the academic stuff. But am I up for studying my ass for the GRE? Putting all my hopes into one school because there is ONE school I can apply to with H being here at UGA. I just don't know and I have to make a decision soon.

But yesterday I set those thoughts aside and enjoyed the richness that my life is. Surrounded by my family and good friends who are visiting from Charlotte, I talked about religion and music. I enjoyed gifts from far away (chocolate and yarn). For a moment I let my future remain in that hazy path ahead.

A Day in the Life...Moving

 I ate breakfast surrounded by boxes and odds and ends. Strangely we left the table cloth on until the very end. Not sure why....I suspect one could make a psychological explanation.

The two little girls woke up early with H and I. And this is our final picture of "the chair." Yes it was hard to not shed a little tear when we left it at the dumpster. This chair was given to us right before I had Camille. I nursed three babies in that chair and H spent many an afternoon napping with a wee baby in his arms. But alas it was time to say good-bye. The thing was a safety hazard at this point.

And the two older kids slept in as usual...we had moved the mattresses to our room for the final night.

The first arrivals. This is the early team of helpers.

The evil homeschooling shelves.These suckers were heavy...

We kept telling him he had to be careful with his back!

In the beginning was the biggest U-Haul van ever. Everyone gave me shit because it was a monster...but wait until you see the after picture.

Pondering where things should go...note the woman behind them just doing...Go Buddha Janna Go.

The Xbox was the very last thing to leave. I still think we should have worked them into a fine exhaustion.

The woman work while the men play Words with Friends upstairs. And do note how fill the van is...not everything was in at that point. Ginger for the win with world's biggest U-Haul truck.

Lunch on our bar...almost done! 

Everything is out...my mom vacuumed for us...it was starting to get pretty real.

The evil trailer...more on that later. But yeah we hauled the Accord behind the truck. 

I think Jason and H were feeling pretty manly about mastering the tow.

My mom and Umberto. We were both getting teary eyed at this point. And then we were off driving into an ending thunder storm. We had initially planned to spend the night in Charlotte but our landlord wanted to meet in the morning so we figured it would be best to spend the night in Athens. It took us forever to just leave Charlotte. We stopped to get coffee, and then had to drop a movie off at Blockbuster. This wouldn't have been a big deal except that H had to back up the U-haul in order to get into the parking area by Blockbuster. He spent about a half hour getting the car back on the tow harness. Then we had to get gas...we finally left Charlotte around five. But we couldn't go faster than 55 because of the tow. Nor could Horacio back up. This made everything from getting gas to eating a royal pain the ass. At one gas station, the truck was too big to get into the gas line but we couldn't move because H had to drive through this area that was filled with cars and bikers. I think we sat there for about 15 minutes. We didn't get to Athens until 10 and then H almost got stuck under a railroad bridge. Thankfully he was smart enough to stop. The police came along and helped him get the car off the trailer and then the trailer off the U-Haul which he had to back up.And then they gave us an escort to the hotel.. It was utterly exhausting...but we made it, and the next day we unload everything into our new home.

We're in love but we still need furniture. Once we have everything I'll post some pictures of our new home.