Friday, February 22, 2013

My Beautiful World

Today's picture from Rethink Church's Lenten photo-a-day challenge was "Love."  

Jude is sick today. Her eyes have red circles in them. She has a hacking cough and ends up chocking on her own mucous. I'm horribly worried as I hold her close, watching for signs of breathing difficulties. She has a higher risk for RSV so I'm a mess. Even being this sick, she is so sweet though. As I hold her while typing she keeps smiling at me so I'll look at her. Her eyes sparkle with pleasure when I laugh her way. She started cooing a few minutes ago much to the delight of her siblings.They're worried too. Even R. She is adored and loved. 

What's funny is that I worried I wouldn't be able to love this child. How odd to think that love would somehow not come because of an extra chromosome. Yet I hear so many stories of families unable to love a baby with Down syndrome. And in the darkest moments of night, I sometimes thought I would be that person and I hated myself a little bit. I also worried about the other children. Would they come to resent her? Would they see her as too different to love

But it was a groundless worry. She has touched us all. She is our beautiful world. 

1 comment:

Diane Hill said...

In my darkest times at the beginning, I thought these same things. My heart is overflowing now with so much love for both my boys! Continued prayers for a speedy recovery!