Wow I managed to not really write anything for two days. I've been reading though. I'm just tired. Exhausted. I've quit all sleeping aids, and it's been a rough few nights. I read until I just can't keep my eyes open, sleep, and then wake up two hours later. I lay awake for a couple more hours, and then fall asleep again. This doesn't make for a thinking Ginger. This means, that despite having a hundred things I want to write about, I am unable to really lay anyting out in an intelligent way. Why can't I sleep? I have three fucking kids. One would think I'd fall into bed exhausted.
So I crawled into work on Wednesday. And photocopied until my mind turned to putty. Photocopying is a horrible job. You have to pay just enough attention not to be able to think on anything else. And when you do books, you can't even read as you have to flip pages every few seconds. But it is kind of cool how you can reduce and enlarge print. I thought a lot about transformation....especially of human bodies. We have a whole industry that transforms people: makes them smaller and larger. Plastic surgeons as photocopiers...now there's a poem for somebody...or a scary scifi story.
I did have a good time. Professors wandered in and out. There was lots of talking and laughing. Everyone seems more relaxed and casual in the summer. Had a fun conversation with old advisor S, and another professor about trailers, and why tornadoes might be attracted to trailer parks. I love J, the administrative assistant. She's funny and cool. We tore apart the photocopier and grumbled about how the guy who was supposed to be doing it would be getting paid more. Then after work, I had a reading group where I drank too much wine, and said some dumb things about Deleuze. I was tired in my defense, and frankly, a bit bored with the direction the conversation went. But the end did provide some good insights, and I'll write about them..maybe tomorrow.
But really I was just so happy to have some hours away from the kids. I feel kind of bad about that...but it's the truth. And I was way more patience and happy with them when I came home. It's like we just needed a break from each other or something. So I realized I need to start weaning myself away from these Suburban moms (at least some of them). They make me feel bad about something that I think is ok. It's not like I want to be away from my kids for 80 hours as week but you know a few hours a day...it's good for us all.
Today I hung at the pool. It was hot. I was stupid and didn't put on sunscreen (I KNOW Ros!). I got burnt. Not bad but my face and back are a bit red. Piper almost drowned. She refused to wear her life jacket and kept walking over the edge of the pool, or off the steps. Umberto swam around and tormented both girls into screams. I chatted with two of our neighbors who were stereotypical Jersey girls. They were really nice and funny. And they thought my kids were cute.
Also I finished both memoirs. I have sticky notes with pages to remember when I can afford to buy them. Now I need to finish Life and Words. Then I need to take some notes. All by Sunday. I can do this.
Tomorrow: Umberto has a pottery thing with his homeschooling group. I'll drop him off and go bake on the playground with the girls. Lucky me. Then my mom (Oh thank the sweet heavens) is taking Umberto for (hopefully) a few days.
Yes, my life. Exciting. I know.
3 comments:
Ginger, your life sounds pretty much like real life to me. And isn't "May you live in exciting times" a kind of hex or curse? As a person who had two (grown) kids, I look back on those days and my heart almost breaks with how wonderful they were, how full of "real life".
Of course you can't be around them 24/7/365. WHO could you be around all day every day w/out going a bit crazy?
And as for sleep, no-one sleeps. A good night's sleep is a dream just like heaven. Just wait til you hit middle age. But we muddle by. Life is just one big muddle. But it's ok. Sounds like you had a pretty good day, really.
Thanks John:P I did get to sleep a bit last night but again H didn't get his schedule right so I ended up entirely too early. Sigh.
LMAO about linking me to no sunscreen. I too am off sleep aids, a whole . . . wow, maybe close to two weeks. And like having three kids, you'd think that the days I was scraping & sanding & painting my bedroom, I'd sleep. For me it's 3 or 3:30, the magic waking hour. But I've chosen to be groggy from lack of sleep over groggy from sleeping pills. I hope you start sleeping more though.
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