Things to Do Besides Eat

I took my walk late today...around nine. We were doing things all day and by the time, I was done, it was late. The good headphones needed batteries, and the old phones were nowhere to be found. I was looking forward to listening to music after the lists on Ernesto's blog but I also felt like I needed some quiet. Normally a walk through Matthews is not quiet. Despite being a town onto itself, Matthews is really a suburb of Charlotte, and thus has the traffic of a suburb of a semi-major city. But it was late, and Sunday. It was amazingly quiet and peaceful.

The walk I normally take to the downtown is a bit dark, and isolated so I choose to walk down a busier route to the grocery store. It was a perfect night. We finally had some rain so the air was crisp and cool--a respite from the hot, hot days we have been having. There is some mysterious smell that prevades the Southern nights. You can not smell it during the day...only at night which adds to its sensual flair. It is very sweet, almost unbearably sweet. Whenever I smell it, it makes me feel the night is made of velvet. It's an amazing scent and I hope no one has tried to turn it into a perfume. My fantasy is to smell this scent while sitting on an old front porch in a rocking chair, drinking mint juleps (Horacio thinks they talk about the scent in the movie "Midnight in the Garden of Evil").

By the time I was only a block from my house, I felt relaxed. The stress which settles between my shoulder blades disappeared. And it was quiet...very quiet considering I was walking alongside a major route. I was glad I didn't have the music. I need to hear silence for awhile. And it opened me up for thinking about things. And one of the things was my obessiion with weight and food.

I realized that my horrible out of control eating was coming from my constant anxiety over food. I was eating because I was stressed about eating. It's ridicilious. And I also just had to really push into the forefront that I should be doing these things for my health not to be thin. And when I focus on my health instead of how I'm going to look in a pair of jeans, I do eat better. I also have to accept that I eat in reponse to anger, boredom and stress. And yeah I know it's insane that I feel bored but I often do. So while I walked, I came up with a list of things to do besides eating. Of course I'll eat when I'm hungry but I need to learn to listen to my body.

So when I first feel hungry, I'm going to drink a glass of water, and if I'm still hungry I'll eat. But if I"m not some things to do:

1. BLOG...naturally!

2. Listen to two songs while dancing wildly with the beasties.

3. Do some quick yoga moves.

4. Breathing exercises via Dr. Weil.

5. Do the dishes or put the dishes from the dishwasher away.

6. Fold clothes (something I actually enjoy doing).

7. Walk around the green outside our apartment.

8. Take the kids to the pool or the playground.

9. Actually start working on my collage ideas.

10. Work on my thesis.